You don't start with the roof?

Without the proper foundation everything eventually crumbles! The result of that is one failed relationship after another. Trust me I know this as I have failed to not only build the proper foundation in my relationships, but in my own life. I have realized in my case the proper foundation starts with God! It is the first and most important part of having an indestructable foundation. Next comes trust and love! Trust involves a lot more than what we usually associate with it. We have to know that the other person will always do the right thing and do it for the right reasons! We have to know that we are loved no matter how flawed or imperfect we are. We have to be determined and work at being better people through him everyday. We have to let go of the past and forgive each other and discover new ways to work as one to a common goal. We need to have a sense of health and safety! You have to communicate honestly and openly and work as a team to solve problems. That means you can't always be right! Once you do all this we will feel comfortable which is crucial to our feeling of security. Then comes God again. He holds together an unbreakable foundation and guides you to an incredible glorious bond that can only be made through him! I understand you! God bless!

The paralyzing effect of fear!

Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm.

What is the most repeated phrase or command from God in the bible? Is it about loving God? No it’s about fear or more accurately not fearing! Why is this? I believe God does not want us to give in to feelings of doubt, apprehension, and insecurity! All good ways to lose faith! Fear is a strong emotion and a very dangerous one. Once you start giving in to fear, it can turn into a downward spiral leading to dark places of the mind. The funny thing is that sometimes fear can be a good thing. You get a feeling that you should not walk out to your car in the dark parking lot. In my case it could be a feeling I should not approach this car from the driver’s side. That is a healthy fear that comes and goes within moments. I’m talking about a different kind of fear. A fear of life, fear of emotions, a fear of relationships, a fear of letting go, or a fear of facing your problems and weakness! These are the things that keep you locked in place. The things that ruin relationships! The things that keep you from being what you were intended to be.

I am as guilty as anyone of giving in to this kind of fear. It has caused me more pain and guilt that I can express. Like I said once you give in it’s like a boulder rolling down a mountain and you standing at the bottom right in its path. You get paralyzed, unable to move. It is almost like you just want the boulder to crush you and just get it over with. You question every decision, every thought, and it all turns into nothing but doubt. Doubt will lead to bad choices and going backwards in life. I know this intimately! The worst choices you will make in your life will most certainly be made out of fear.

I will not pretend to have the answer to this. What I can say is you have to do everything in your power to not give in to fear. Most of the fear is made up in your mind anyway. If you walk around afraid you cannot love. I believe that is the reason God is telling us not to fear! I think we should listen to him! Sometimes you have to embrace your suffering instead of fearing it. He will strengthen you if you let him. If you need someone to take some of that suffering from you feel free to put some of it on me.

Part 3 of my road to God. Jesus!

One thing I had struggled with was the term "Be like Jesus." It was such a difficult concept because you are talking about perfect. Then I think how all of us are broken and flawed! I know this one thing is true. Jesus is the example that we should all follow! He loves us all as his brothers and sisters! He wants us to know that the only way to change is through him! Without him I would still be wandering aimlessly trying to figure it out. Jesus teaches us to be humble, kind, compassionate, caring, patient, courageous, and loving! To never be afraid of our faith and to let people know who we are and what we believe. I know we as Christians can never agree on everything and the same with non Christians. The one thing I think we can agree upon is Jesus is the best example all of us can follow! God bless!

Part 2: The road to God and an observation.

I have been going to different churches in an effort to help with my learning and understanding in my faith. I have been to 6 in the past 2 months and it has really helped with my growth. One observation I have made is the lack of men in all of the churches. When I say lack of men I do not mean the lack of males! Sure everybody is so nice when they see a new face and give you the “love bomb” and no one talks about anything that may even be slightly controversial. I understand this as you don’t want to scare a potential new member away. As I say the following it is an observation and not a criticism. It’s based on what I have noticed in both going to these different churches and a lot of reading.

As I sit in each church and I wonder, what if? If a disturbed armed person were to come in and intent on harming people. Then I look around again and realize I am pretty much on my own to take any kind of action. If you don’t think it can happen then think again.

http://www.defensivecarry.com/forum/general-firearm-discussion/98256-18-church-shootings-11-years-comprehensive-list.html

It just seems to me that the church could do a much better job of attracting and mentoring men. When I was in the Marine Corps and attended church I was around a bunch of men who carried guns. After service we picked up our guns ready to do what we had to do. The Pastor/Chaplain knew how to speak to us as men. We are not doves we are Eagles! We were not sheep we were sheepdogs. If a pastor were to call me one of his sheep I would laugh in his face. If God were to call me one of his sheep I would say “Yes sir!”

There are so many stories and examples of men bearing the sword for God in the bible. Why are those never talked about in any sermon I have heard. Think of David, Joshua, Gideon, Samson, Joab, etc. Even Peter bore the sword when they came to arrest Jesus. Think of the 12 spies and how Caleb and Joshua were the only 2 not afraid of the giants because they knew that God was with them. I keep looking at the church ministries and have yet to see anything about training and mentoring men to really become men. I see Youth ministry, children’s ministry, mom time, soup group, Prayer team, and on and on.

There is no doubt in my mind that women are the better sex and definitely more involved in the church. We as men though are failing in one of the few things we are good at and that is as protectors. It seems many men in the church are motivated not by virtue, but fear and the passiveness it creates!  It's as though God gave them a keys to a brand new car and it's sits in the driveway because they are afraid to start it until God drops a roadmap from the sky. If the church wants to really attract men to Christ it needs to speak to them in a way they understand. You can get the transformation I spoke of in part 1 if we let them know it’s still alright to be a man. Decisive and courageous in action! Humble , kind, and compassionate in the way he carries himself! You can agree or disagree with this and then you can ask me if I care! God bless!

Romans 13:4

 for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.

Psalm 144:1-2

       Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. 2 He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.     

 

 

 

Cross references:

1. Romans 13:4 : 1Th 4:6

 

Missing the point, my road to God!

In this journey of taking God back into my heart and giving him the keys to my life there have been speed bumps or I might even say roadblocks. The process of reconciling who I am with who I was meant to be has been difficult. On the way I have realized a few things. Stop looking for signs of what he is trying to tell me. If he is walking with me he shows me the way. Don't worry about what others do or say. I am not defined by other people and their actions or rejections. I am still a sheepdog! He created me with the inner strength to protect and help people. A job that sometimes requires violence and a sense of distrust!

The thing is I am not protected by isolation, but by identity. I can be what God intended me to be and still walk with Jesus next to me. Just because I don't approve of someone or their actions does not mean I can't still love that person as my brother. I do not have to react to hostility and anger! I can still show compassion and kindness. Don't get me wrong I will not be walked on or taken advantage of, but I will always ask the question. What would Jesus do? Sometimes that will mean walking away and other times it will require a different action. The different action will never be out of malice or anger. Do I expect to be like Jesus? No, not at all! What I expect is to become the man I was intended through his love and strength. I will stand up to the evils of this world and protect those who can't do it themselves.

I had a conversation with a friend last night. A much smarter man than I am. While talking to him I said that I know that the changes I have made I would not of been capable of without God. That all the glory goes to him! That the choices are usually pretty clear as long as you keep your inner mind out of the way, which has a way of justifying bad decisions! Every once in a while there will be two good choices and God will work with you either way you go as long as you stay on the narrow path. It was one of the best 20 minute conversations I have ever had. I am not nor do I ever think I will completely get there in this life, but I get it! I understand not everyone will agree with me, but I still love you! I am blessed and I will thank and praise him for every blessing as well as lean on him during the difficult times. We learn more about who we are and who he is during the storms! Stop missing the point and looking under every rock for the answer or sign. Through him the answer is already in you! God bless all of you even if you don't believe!

Blurring the line! Lies, justifications, and other nonsense!

We all have a line, a moral line we try and live our lives by. Whether you believe it or not that moral line is steeped in Christianity and the bible. This is true if you a believer or not. Why is it we cross that line so much? We blur it through justifications and when it is blurry enough we cross it pretending we couldn't see it anymore. It won't hurt just this once. Then it starts happening again and again. Pretty soon we try to move the line forward where we don't think we can cross it. That is the lie we tell ourselves. You will slowly or in some cases quickly move closer and closer until it becomes blurry yet again. We are all good at making justifications for our behaviour! It won't hurt just this once or better yet blame someone else.

We should be doing just the opposite. We should be pulling that line closer! You can't try to do it all at once because that is a losing proposition. It will cause you nothing but confusion and self doubt. It will cause the line to blur again. You have to take small steps and gain strength through success. Like any journey to becoming a better you it takes time, work, strength, and faith. Self control and self awareness are the 2 keys. It will never be easy to be honest about your weakness, but it's the only way to self discovery. I know we all place that line in different places, some probably have it 3 states away. We are all broken and flawed, but capable of so much more than we are. It just takes some courage so we can keep that line in focus!

A big thank you!

Last night was the night from hell! I haven't witnessed that much silliness since the circus. There should be a rule that everyone not working should be asleep after 2am. I will say in the midst of the utter ridiculous chaos 2 very good things happened to me, so I will leave those as the focus of my night. I digress since this isn't what this short post was about. We have been working 12 on 12 off everyday because of flooding. During this time Wives, Girlfriends, and a few citizens have brought us food and other good stuff. I just want to say thank you very much to those that cared enough to think of us! It is appreciated beyond words!

Transformed or Conformed? It's in your head!

As people there is no part of life where we live as abstracted uninvolved robots. Some of us will live our lives in our own little ghetto's of safety avoiding the rest of the world. Safe and secure that everyone believes and does as we do. At least that is what we think! If we close our eyes and stay with those who agree and believe as we do we can't be corrupted. The narrow path does not mean narrow minded.
Romans 12:2 says "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Whether you are a Christian or not, what is this passage saying? Does it say turn away from the world? No, it is saying that the world can be an evil and corrupting place. If your transformation is of the mind then you will only take the good and you can't be corrupted. The world is not a collection of objects, but an environment full of creations. We should celebrate and find the good in all of it! This means different cultures, religions, literature, music, and arts. The beauty can be found in anyone and anything if you are looking for it. If you are only looking for ugly and evil, guess what you will find? When you first saw the news of the bombing in Boston what was your first thought or what was the first thing you noticed? What I noticed is the police, firemen, citizens rushing to help their fellow brothers and sisters! Sure I know it was an act of evil, but I chose to see the human heart and spirit of giving and helping. What you see depends on your perspective. When your mind is transformed love goes from being some sentimental illusion to the main point of everything! You don't need to be a believer to see that!

The knight, death, and the devil

I never really understood the deeper meaning of this until it was explained by a smarter man that I. The lone knight on patrol protecting the kingdom. A singular focus of what is in front of him. His mission is all that matters. Death creeping in the background, but he is not concerned with death. The devil behind him reaching out attempting to make him lose focus. The knight and horse appear almost contemptuous to his presence. They will uphold their oath to protect the kingdom! Death nor the Devil will stop them. They are protected by their armor of faith! This has not changed in 600 years!

Romans 13:4
For he is God's servant for your good, but if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear his sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.

Who am I?

I'm the man that stands ready in the night to do violence on your behalf! That's sees the dark side so your eyes never witness it! That runs to the sound of the gunfire so you can run away! The man that will sacrifice his life even though you might hate me! I'm your eyes in the middle of the night so your children can sleep safely! People don't call me to tell me about their joyful day! They call because their husband is drunk and punched her in the face! Their child ran away! Their daughter was abused by the neighbor! I help you gladly because I took an oath! I believe in that oath! Whatever you may think of me or my uniform I will be there if you need me! Just remember I have problems just like you! I feel pain just like you! I get my strength from God, my hope from Jesus, and am guided by the Holy Spirit!

A prayer for Boston!

If you have not yet seen the news, there has been 2 explosions at the end of the Boston marathon! From watching it is chaos there! Everyone please take a moment and say a prayer for those injured and the loved ones of those that have lost their lives. Say a prayer for strength for the emergency workers that are rushing to help! http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/15/explosion-reported-near-finish-line-boston-marathon-spokesman-says/

It's OK

You will make mistakes! You will let someone down at some point in your life. We are not perfect nor will we ever be! No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do. Don’t dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings as a person. Learn from them, reflect, and improve. You are strong enough to overcome anything. Never let it beat you! The people that really care about you will never leave your side no matter what mistake you make! It can be a painful lesson to learn especially when it comes to people, but a necessary one! The greatest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness. The people that care will always forgive you! The ones that never did will leave. Either way with each test you will learn more about yourself and get stronger.  You just have to make that choice. Love yourself because he does!

How do I do this?

I guess that depends on the question.  Getting from point A to point Z? It’s basically a question of where and what you want to be in life. The biggest problem for all of us in this process is first realizing you will never make it to point Z! It really shouldn’t be important to you anyway. The second biggest problem is we forget that you have to go through points A, B, C, etc to get there. Everyone always wants to skip the hard to stuff to get to the end of the rainbow. There is no easy way or shortcuts to reach the person you want to be. The other problem is we get sidetracked. Not by who we want to be, but by stuff. You know getting more stuff, getting better stuff, and getting bigger stuff. It’s almost like relationships. People are always searching for better instead of looking for the best in what they have! They start to fail to see what has been in front of them in the entire time. Me being a Christian and having a strong faith in God, I have had the following conversation with several people. What is god trying to tell me? You get so wrapped up in the question and looking for the answer you fail to see what is right in front of you! God does not drop you a roadmap from the sky. We were given free will for a reason! If you keep looking and listening you will never see the obvious. You end up seeing what you want to see or what you think you should see.  Why do so many people spend so much time wrapped up in the destination and forget about the journey? Why is today called the “present?” Because it is a gift from God! The past is only important from the standpoint of what you have learned from it. The future is only important from the standpoint of tomorrow. Today is what matters and what you do with it! Love the people that love you. Forgive the people that have hurt you. Have hope and faith that your today is better than your yesterday. Don’t get caught up in looking for answers. The answers will come when you stop looking for them. One step at a time is all you can take. If you fall get right back up and if you are doing it right there will always be hand right there when you need it most! Take the journey and don’t worry about where it is taking you, just enjoy the ride. Feel blessed because you are!

How do you see yourself?

Interdependence

A concept I have thought much about lately. Being interdependent does not mean losing your own independence. There are times when we must bear our own burdens, but more often than not we help bear each others burdens. Interdependence is about about teamwork. It’s about being emotionally, economically, and morally reliant on each other! Let’s face it; we all need someone to lean on at times in our lives. I would never walk away or refuse to be there for those I care about!  We all need a rock in our lives. Some of us are fortunate to have several people like that. When I talk about interdependence I am only talking from a relationship perspective. Don’t read Karl Marx into this! I believe that God puts people in your life just for this purpose! Whatever it is you believe don’t be afraid to share and lean on those close to you! It’s alright to ask for help and let someone else carry some of the load! Don’t ever turn someone you care about down when it comes to this. You will be rewarded 100 times over!

Don't buy the lie!

This is for all the men or would be men out there. You and I have been fed a lie our entire lives on what it means to be a man! Culture and society feed us a lie everyday on what it means to be a man. How much beer can you drink, how many women have you had, what kind of car you drive, hold all your emotions in, swear a lot, etc etc. The list of dumb stuff is never ending! Why do we do this and why do we believe it? Open your eyes boys and put the damn controller down! Help a neighbor or a stranger. Speak up and stand up for what is right. Treat younger women like your sisters and older women like your mothers! Treat that one special woman in your life like a princess! Protect the weak and stand up against the bully! Turn the other cheek when you can and only do what is necessary when you can't! Stay humble and be gracious! Our Mothers, Sisters, and Daughters deserve better from us! Are you going to be part of the problem or part of the solution? I challenge my brothers out there to stop buying the lie and start selling the truth. These are the things that you should want to describe you. Honor, integrity, humility, strength, courageous, compassionate, faithful, committed, steadfast, and selfless! How do you want to be remembered? The only question you should be asking yourself is "Am I a better man than I was yesterday?" Stay strong and decide, which of these 2 men would you rather be!?!

3 boys and a pizza

Having a 14 year old son can be interesting, fun, and annoying all at the same time. He stayed with me last night and had 2 of his friends over. As usual I didn't have anything to eat, so I took the boys to get pizza. I ordered 2 pizza's and a triple (yes triple) order of topper sticks (Cheesy breadsticks). My son asked me if I ordered the toppers and I said "yes a triple order." He hugged me and said "you are amazing!" It's the little things in life that make everything worth it! The boys proceeded to be obnoxious for the remainder of the night. Normal stuff like making fun of each other and locking each other in the closet while singing runaround sue. The G eazy version, but I'll live with it. I loved every minute of it!
Almost forgot the best part of the night. While waiting for the pizza the 3 of them had a conversation about body hair, shaving, laser hair removal, and waxing! God help us all!

The power and danger of the mind

The power of the mind. Have you ever been sitting around and your mind just won't shut up? How many times has your mind taken a situation and put every negative it can come up with to the point where reality no longer exists. Why didn't someone call you back? Why did he/she look at me that way? Why does my boss want to talk to me? Given it's own devices the mind will turn each of these situations into the end of the world. I challenge you to sit alone and concentrate and listen to the idle useless chatter that goes on in your own mind. The problem is this useless chatter can sometimes affect how we approach people and situations. People we care about and love! It creates fear and anxiety where there should be no fear or anxiety. I remember reading once that if you could put a person with that chatter and have them sit next to you, you would kick them out of your house and tell them to never come back. All I can say is you just need to tell that voice to "shut up." I mean verbally tell it to shut up! Always remember and practice that no situation is ever as bad or dire as that voice in your head makes it out to be! Take that into consideration when dealing with the people you care about! They will appreciate it and it will make your life a lot easier and less anxious! Don't live in fear live in understanding! God bless all of you and don't forget "shut up!" 

I was doing this for me, but perhaps I can help someone else while I am at it. We are all connected in some way! Maybe someone else will read this and it can help give them strength and understanding when they need it the most.
My first post is about something that I have been attempting to understand for some time. Something that we all deal with from time to time throughout our lives. It's also something that I had to deal with recently. Pain! Not physical pain, but emotional pain. Perhaps one of the hardest things we deal with in our lives. It comes in many sizes, shapes, and forms. It can be paralyzing and affect every aspect of our lives if we don't deal with it properly. I can't say the proper way of dealing with it, but I'm getting better at it. I have noticed there are 3 types of people when it comes to dealing with emotional pain.

The first type are the lucky ones. Those that can move forward from anything without looking back. Those that are in control of their thougths and emotions. They can push it out, smile and just keep going on. They don't hold their pain in and seem to be so comfortable with themselves and their lives that they just know everything happens for a reason. They know life will always get better and are secure in that belief. These people are rare, but we can learn a lot if you know one of them.

The second type are those that hold their pain and carry it with him like it is their best friend. They keep adding to it like fuel that keeps them going. Eventually it destroys them! It destroys their relationships and pushes everyone that cares about them away. These people are more common than the first type, but still rare.

The third type is where most of us fall, including myself. Our pain is a process. We go through stages, which can repeat itself several times. Some of us take longer in this process, but we eventually find a way to let it go. It's not an easy process and it will sometimes make you question everything about yourself and your life. I am amazed by friends during these times! People that you may not have talked to in years that will help you and listen to you! I thank God for having these people in my life! They will give you advice. Some of it you will listen to and most of it you will ignore! That is not what it's about though. It's about the listening and I cannot say enough what it means to have people like that in your life! I am grateful and humbled by these people. The only thing I can say is embrace the process. Let it strengthen you and give you understanding. Understanding of who you really are and what you want out of life. Life is not a destination it is a journey. Make sure you are the one that writes the last chapter of your own life. Stay strong and God bless!